I hate myself~really damn hate myself~go far away from here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 holding my stpm result in hand
the result is getting in my way
heartbroken+ing
all the dreams are broken down
painstaking effort was gone away
this result is returned to me for this 1&1/2 years

I really can't control myself
keep crying n crying
tears never end up
keep thinking about the past
keep regretting the past
keep feeling sorry to the one who supports me in studying
keep feeling shameful of my worst shit-like result!
keep feeling this is not my result
keep thinking this is not the real
my lucky had gone far away from me
my result won't be like this before


I am tired
tiring all the way
tears couldn't be stopped
though saying I've prepared for this day coming
 but it still hurts me


   vacation needed
forgetfulness needed
dreams needed


I want play badminton to snap people
I want play net ball
I want play boxing
I want hit something can let me feel better~


the dream is not belong to me
never ever
I won't give myself any expectations
I don't wish to the disappointmens